Sad Walls

 nothing is sadder than dinner out
 you look out the restaurant window
 at winter rain hitting icy pavement
 and you seldom look at him
 lost in your own pain and thoughts
 together but so far apart
 
 
 it's sad when love has finally died
 without his knowing it's dead
 and how many times will you hear
 “Why don't you just leave,”
 before you can let go completely  
 and at last allow yourself to go
 
 
 it's sadder than sad, devastating
 when your adult children are cold
 and you know in your heart
 they've listened to his whining
 lies have prevailed above your love
 there is nothing left of being mother
 
 
 finding yourself at last loving you
 throwing off the yoke of blame
 for the mistakes of others  
 oh, you have made many of your own
 but living alone behind your sad walls
 will no longer be one of them